Should You Do A First Look?

There’s something magical about the first time you lay eyes on each other on your wedding day. Traditionally, that reveal happens as the ceremony begins, but in the last twenty years more and more couples have chosen to share a private first look before walking down the aisle.

As a wedding photographer who has documented hundreds of these moments, I’ve seen firsthand how this decision shapes the flow, mood, and timing of the entire day. Below, I’ll walk you through the benefits and drawbacks of a first look, along with a few creative alternatives, so you can decide what feels right for your celebration.

What Is A “First Look”?

Way back in the year 2000, wedding couples started wanting to be present at their cocktail hours, the traditional time photographers take group photos with the bride and groom. Doing pictures beforehand was an easy way to achieve this, but albums lost the moment when the couple first sees each other at the altar.

For Lucia and I (yes, I’ve been a wedding photographer for a LONG time), we arranged a private time before the photos where the couple would see each other without anyone else there, connect, read private vows, and start their day together. Other photographers do it differently, but we all have a common goal: Make it special for the couple to see each other, and then do as many of the ‘must-do’ photos before the ceremony.

Where Did the Idea that it’s “Bad Luck” come from?

You’ve probably heard the phrase: “It’s bad luck to see each other before the ceremony.” But do you know why? This belief comes from the era of arranged marriages, when the groom wasn’t supposed to see the bride until she was literally walking down the aisle—just in case he decided to back out. The veil and the “no-peeking” tradition were essentially insurance policies for the bride’s family (who, at the time, might have been trading goats or land in the deal).

Thankfully, today’s weddings aren’t arranged business transactions. While the superstition lingers, most modern couples now base their choice on logistics, emotions, and how they want their wedding day to feel.

Benefits of Having a First Look

1. Calms Wedding Day Nerves

Wedding mornings can be a blur of nerves, excitement, and anticipation. Seeing each other privately before the ceremony often helps couples relax, breathe, and feel grounded. That shared calm can set the tone for the rest of the day.

2. A Smoother Timeline

With a first look, you can take portraits, wedding party photos, and even family formals before the ceremony. This opens up your cocktail hour, so you can actually spend it with your guests instead of racing through group photos.

3. More Flexibility in Your Photo Timeline

When planning a photo timeline for your wedding, a first look opens up tremendous scheduling flexibility. Instead of cramming all the wedding pictures (couple‘s portraits, wedding party, and family portraits) into the cocktail hour, you can complete many of these before the ceremony. This means:

• More variety in your wedding photos
• Less rushing between locations
• More time to enjoy your cocktail hour with guests
• A more relaxed pace throughout the day

4. Privacy for Genuine Reactions

Aisle reveals are emotional, but they happen in front of a crowd. Some couples feel pressure to “react big” for their guests, or grooms try to “be strong” in front of their friends. A first look gives you space to cry, laugh, hug, or whisper without an audience—while I quietly capture the moment.

5. More Time With Each Other

Wedding days move fast, and couples often spend more time apart than together. A first look means extra time side-by-side: to exchange gifts, read private vows, or just enjoy a quiet pause before the whirlwind begins.

The Cons of Doing a First Look

1. Losing the Aisle Reveal

If you’ve always imagined locking eyes at the altar for the very first time, a first look might not be for you. That aisle moment is powerful and emotional, and for some couples, it’s worth protecting at all costs.

2. It Starts the Day Earlier

To fit in photos before the ceremony, you’ll likely need to get ready earlier. If you have morning plans with your wedding party, or if the idea of starting hair and makeup at sunrise makes you cringe, waiting for the ceremony could be a better fit.

3. Dress Concerns

A first look sometimes means walking outdoors before the ceremony. While we’re always careful, there’s a small risk of a hem picking up grass or dust.

4. Reactions May Be Different

Some couples worry that seeing each other early will dull the aisle moment. In reality, most still get teary-eyed when the music swells and the walk begins—but if you want that “once-in-a-lifetime reveal,” you may prefer to skip the pre-ceremony peek.

Final Thoughts

There’s no “right” answer—just what’s right for you. A first look can ease nerves, create a smoother timeline, and give you more private time together. Waiting until the ceremony preserves tradition and makes that walk down the aisle electric.

Some couples even compromise with a “first touch,” private vow exchange, or moment together without actually seeing each other. Whatever you choose, my job as your photographer is to help you plan a timeline that fits your vision and makes the most of your day.

If you’re still undecided, let’s talk through your options. I’d love to help you create a plan that ensures you get incredible photos and an experience you’ll love.